Oh Dear!!!!

Picture courtesy www.fotosearch.com

Today Jason and I went to the doctor for our 37 week appointment. Last week when we went I was 70% effaced (thinned out) and not dilated at all. This week I am 1 cm dilated and about 80% effaced. The doctor asked me if I wanted to have my membranes stripped and I went into panic mode. My brain was wiped clear and I could not recall the 700 hours of internet research that I had done on conception, labor and pregnancy. All I could think about was that stripping your membranes was breaking my water and that meant baby being born today or tomorrow. Oh dear...This baby is really going to be coming into the world and in a relatively short amount of time. It was a scary enough fact to learn that at 37 weeks you are considered full term, but now your telling me we could have her today. I started thinking about the 2 days of work I have and the unfinished chores at home. Needless to say we did not have my membranes stripped today. Maybe next week because it is good timing for Jason's work schedule :) There I go planning again.

On the car ride home, Jason says to me "The whole pregnancy and you don't panic and now you panic!" Well this is real...We are really going to have a baby. I know pregnancy is uncomfortable, but it is familiar and being a mother is not familiar. What if she cries and I can't soothe her? What if she thinks I am goofy? What if I fail her and God at being a mother? I guess all these feelings are normal. Thanks for letting me freak out a bit! Please continue to pray for a healthy baby and a safe and healthy delivery. Also pray for clarity on the question of the day...Do We Strip The Membranes Next Week!